


Dead, Not Gone

by constancehainesashes



Category: One Direction
Genre: Death, Gen, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-04
Updated: 2014-07-04
Packaged: 2018-02-07 10:18:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1895364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/constancehainesashes/pseuds/constancehainesashes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall has lost the love of his life, and the will to live. Will he move on or join her in the skies?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dead, Not Gone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SweetLoving](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetLoving/gifts).



Dead, Not Gone

''She's dead,'' were the last words Niall said before going completely silent. Little did everybody, know, he would never talk again.  
He was numb. Simply numb. He couldn't breathe. Everything blurred around him and he could feel his body start to droop and sag. He was held up by strong hands, which kept him from falling. Emotionally, he had already fallen off the tallest cliff in existence, his soul ending up at the bottom, crushed. He simply couldn't go on without her. She was everything to him, and now she was GONE. A part of him just wanted to scream in agony, but he kept quiet. A storm raged inside him but his exterior was clam. His face was hard as stone, the cheeks stained with tears he had shed all night.  
The sun broke out into the sky as Liam pulled Niall's numb body ahead. Niall couldn't fight it and forced his feet to cooperate, but he failed to the extent that Liam was now dragging him. Liam finally lifted the blonde boy into his arms and carried him to the car. He curled up into the seat, refusing the comfort offered by Harry. He closed his sapphire blue eyes, letting a memory hit him.

''Niall! No!'' she screamed as he flung a paintball at her. An instant later, she was splattered with the blue paint. She whined. He chuckled, waling up to her. He ran a hand through her hair, looking at her adoringly. She blushed, averting his gaze. He tilted her chin up, kissing her sweetly. She smiled into the kiss, and they were soon curled around each other in a way inappropriate in public. A throat being cleared interrupted them, and Niall pulled away, irritated. Louis was whistling at them.  
''Oi! Go away!'' Niall yelled, but Louis didn't budge, chuckling. Niall grew exasperated and held his girlfriend's hand, pulling her into the house. They ended up in a bathroom, showering together and one thing led to another. It was the first time they'd made love.

He was crying silently now. He couldn't erase the memories of the beautiful redhead from his brain. He couldn't. He loved her. So much. Why had God taken her away from him? Why?!  
Liam tried comforting his best mate, but Niall thrashed at him. Liam pulled away, hurt lacing his expression. All he wanted was to help Ni. But how?  
Zayn gently wiped Niall's cheeks. It was the first time Niall made eye contact with anyone since she....died. Zayn's round brown eyes were filled with tears as he looked at the broken boy in front of him. Niall flunghis arms around the raven-haired lad and cried into his shoulder, his sobs loud. They made everyone else wince in pain.  
Zayn held Niall until he calmed down. Eventually, the Irish boy fell asleep against Zayn. Even in his sleep, everyone could see the pain showing on his face.  
''What are we going to do?'' Harry whispered, looking at Niall's sleeping figure.  
''I don't know....'' Liam trailed off. They all gulped. Things were seriously wrong when LIAM didn't know what to do.  
''He loved her,'' Louis said, his breath hitching. He thought of his beloved girlfriend, Eleanor. How would he feel if she died? If she was shot at point blank for protecting him like the redhead had done for her blonde lover? He would certainly lose it.  
''He was going to marry her,'' Zayn said solemnly, showing them a beautiful diamond ring. He was the only one who hadn't cried. But now he could feel himself breaking. They all held each other while Niall dreamt of his girlfriend. His now dead girlfriend.

When they got home, Niall walked to his room and shut the door. He never locked it, though. He stayed in his bed most of the time, staring at the picture of him and his beautiful lover that sat on the side table. He would never see her radiant smile, or hear her sweet voice. Never feel her lips on his, never look into her brown eyes....

Weeks passed, but Niall didn't ever get out off his room. He only got out of bed to go to the toilet and shower occasionally. He hardly ate. And when he did, it was because the boys begged him to. He noticed the changes in his band mayes - Zayn was even more quiet, his face pale. Harry hardly ever smiled, his eyes losing their spark. Liam was nearly always crying. He couldn't bear to see Niall go through this. Louis became the leader again, protecting all of them from the pain. He himself was breaking apart. Eleanor finally ended up moving in with them. Louis took care of Liam, Zayn and Harry, and in turn they tried to help Niall. And Eleanor helped Louis. So, all in all, they were all just broken without the girl.

One night, it got to be too much for Niall. He'd had another dream of his now dead lover, but this one had been the worst by far. He'd seen her eyes wide with fear as she stepped ahead, taking the bullet that was meant for him. It wasn't how it had actually happened, he hadn't been there when she was shot. By an obsessive fan who hated her because she was with him. She'd died for him. She'd saved his life.  
He couldn't take it anymore. He went to the bathroom and found a bottle of pills as well as a large razor. He sat on his bed, writing a letter.  
Once he was done writing, he laid down on the floor, swallowing the entire bottle of pills. Gulping down the water, he brought the shiny razor to his right wrist, neither of his hands trembling. He wasn't scared of death. No, he was scared of life now.  
He let the sharpness of the blade slice into his pale white skin. Blood seeped out immediately, but he could feel no pain. He made another cut, much deeper, and let the razor fall from his hand. He stared up at the ceiling, his blood soaking the carpet.  
Slowly, his eyelids began drooping. He shut his beautiful blue eyes for the final time, peacefully floating into nothingness.

It was Zayn who found him the next morning. He opened the door to Niall's room to see him on the floor, blood everywhere. He let out a bloodcurdling scream, falling to his knees. The other boys rushed to him, shocked at the sight. Liam touched his undamaged wrist.  
''He's dead.''

Niall's body was buried next to the girl he died for. All the boys and his family were inconsolable. Liam shaved all of his hair off again, the pain always showing in his chocolate orbs. Harry never cooked, because the Irish boy was no longer there to scarf it down. Though he hadn't really been there since she'd died. Zayn had all off his tattoos removed by laser, never taking a sedative. It hurt a lot but this was his way of punishing himself. He could've saved Niall had he woken earlier and the guilt killed him slowly. Louis held them together, finding the strength he needed from his girlfriend.  
They were never One Direction again. They never sang again. They all lived together in the same house. Harry slowly immersed himself in the kitchen, cooking for everyone. Zayn got a tattoo of Niall on his back and one of all of them together over his entire front. With Niall right above his heart. Liam did the one thing Niall had always urged him to do - date a fan. He did it for his best friend, and fell in love.  
At Niall's first death anniversary, Zayn, Perrie, Louis, Eleanor, Liam, Skylar (his girlfriend) and Harry visited his grave together.  
''They're together now,'' Harry whispered, looking up at the cloudy sky.  
''They're watching over us,'' Zayn agreed, feeling as if they were both right there.  
''Or fucking,'' Liam said, making them all burst into laughter.  
''Do angels even fuck?'' Louis asked, giggling like a little girl  
''Considering it's them, yeah!'' Harry chuckled. They were all finally healing.

Zayn and Perrie married soon after, Louis proposing to Eleanor on the same day. She, of course, said yes. Liam and Skylar never married, but grew old together. Harry never had a stable girlfriend in his entire life, but he experienced love, too, before she was ripped away from him by the murky hands of cancer. He raised their little boy, who he had named Niall James.  
They stuck together, meeting up every other week and remembering all the fun times they had with their bandmate and his lover. They had to cry, too, sometimes, but it was okay. They were happy, knowing the two lovers had reunited.

Niall watched over them, like always, gripping his lover's hand tightly. The redhead pecked his temple. They gazed at each other.  
''I love you, Niall James Horan,'' she said.  
''I love you, too, Rosemary Horan.''


End file.
